none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize