What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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