someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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