Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
