i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
