she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
