i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize