I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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