Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.

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(636): View more from Missouri

No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.

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(713): View more from Texas

I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic

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(207): View more from Maine

She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight

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(703): View more from Virginia

You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning

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(310): View more from California

I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.

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(406): View more from Montana

I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday

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