ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
