Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
