I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
