I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize