i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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