Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
