1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
