I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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