I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
