I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
