For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
