just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
