Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
