so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
