I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
