I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
