dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
