Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Randomize
