Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
