I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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