"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Screwed.edu
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
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