I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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