oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everyone says I win the strip club
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
