They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
