using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize