Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
