Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize