I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
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