i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
