Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize