Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
