I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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