Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
