Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize