oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
