yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
