How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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