Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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