I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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