do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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