I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize