I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
