I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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