before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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