Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
