So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
