i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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