Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
