I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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