The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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