in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
