kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize