Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
