But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
