Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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