just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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