She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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