But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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