Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
