too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
