I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
