me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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