Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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