then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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