I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
