So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
