is your mom at the bar?
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
