Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
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