At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
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