I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I want a musical about memes.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
