Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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