The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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