Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
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