why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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