He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
